So tell me, do you wish we'd fall in love?

Hello again : )
and welcome to the wonderful world of a new semester!
No more math,
no more functions of x and y
and no more trig ratios--shall we all have a drink?

I love the excitement of new terms, I make an effort to look nice, sucking up to a new batch of teacher all that jazz. Something about starting the day off with spanish three, going to choir, having a Mann class with Dani, and then p.e with my friends just made the day seem positive. As much as I do dread physical education. : (

On another note, someone said something the other day that has just stayed with me.
well actually, a couple of things because they contradicted each other in a few ways and I am officially pathetic for analyzing conversations to this extreme.
oh well, I'm happily pathetic.

-when he say he couldn't see himself in a relationship with her long term, my immediate thoughts were well, can you see yourself with me? and is it because you're attracted to guys?

okay, if you knew my circumstances-the second would not be a suprise however I'm hoping that's not the case.

so does that mean he doesnt want a relationship at all? or maybe he wants one too much?
these are the things that keep me awake, trivial-random nonsense. : )

also, say whatever helps you sleep at night, that none of this will matter and detach yourself from everything. then you're not living, you're putting life on hold...till after highschool, after college, after you travel...you'll run out of time. and that's scary.
so face it, hold my hand and realize that i want this... us to matter to you. and it terrifies me that you might write it off as just highschool, just a girl...just...just...nothing.

but I think this is different-because when I'm babbling you think I make perfect sense.
and to me, that matters.


wow, a Rihanna song just came on my shuffle, that's weird.

so recently, I've been conflicted because I don't seem to know how to say no. I would really like to learn this skill as i feel it would come in handy every so often.

Hanging out with someone I've never met-one on one-that my best friend got bad vibes from..
should say no...I think I'll just make up an excuse, wow I'm usually so opinionated but I need to grow some balls here.

also-when an ex wants back in your life, that you really don't want involved in any aspect of your choices, daily life, or anythign else. Then you should say no. and make them believe it. and don't give it. I really need to work on this one, do you think there's a class for this?

But don't let that confuse you, I know what I want to a certain extent. an comfortable amount of acceptance of change and knowing what I refuse to lose. Not again.

This is making me angry, and that's not how a decent day should end.

I am thankful for getting a great second semester schedule.
for reconnecting with an old, good friend.
for my parents being understanding and forgiving.
and for the person who's been texting me all night, continually making me smile.

G'night.

I just wanna live...I wish I could breathe.

hawthorne heights. the loving resort of all down times.
<3

I always say the wrong thing, and it never quite pleases anyone.
My opinions are too harsh, and I have a problem with trust and respect.
I had to have the advanced algebra lesson taught to me 5 times today.
I am such an epic failure sometimes.

I just don't understand why it matters so much?

I hate fighting with my dad-but he doesn't wait to listen to anything I actually think or feel. just jumps to the conclusion that I'm a typical drug addicted ignorant teenager.

I can't wait for church....I really need some church.
2 more days....

: /

What if...

16 years old, healthy, good family, above average grades. Ya know, one would think that she's just starting out.

but you know, the world of gymnastics doesn't.
they see her, as old, broken and no longer worth the time of day.

at the age of 16, you're old in gymnastics.
as a sophomore.

it's pathetic. and that's why we still love it.

after it kills us and then gives us a moment to shine. (followed by another murderous practice)

I'd do anything to go back. and see what it would be like if I hadn't of quit when things got rough.

because hell, I'm a lot stronger now and I'd love to know....What if...

Hello New Decade : D

Who can resist the new years posting?

With a new laptop, Thanks Grandparents! and a red bull I am completely set for this.

2009 brought many things, it changed my life.

a lot of bad choices, quite a few
I truly regret a lot of what happened.


I don't want to say that about 2010.

Truly, I believe you and me can do anything.
we'll both get jobs, bodies we want, and the adventures we're longing for.

Let's start this thing off right.

Quotations

These are simply a few of my favorite quotes that I've found over a period of time...



"before you follow in someone's footsteps, make sure they're headed in the right direction"
-unknown

"I just...don't know what to do Megan"
-alex cyert

"Where the fuck is Gavin?! Shit, he's on my ass. Fuck I'm going 40!"
-Derek Sveen

"Since it's Christmas, and we tell the truth around the holidays. I want you to know that to me....you are perfect"
-Love Actually

"Just remember to love the little things in life, Like running in the rain."
-Hinder

"I spend a lot of time with my dog, he's pretty cool"
-Jean Leighton

"If this text pisses me off, I'm going to scream fuck really loud"
-Lee Boetcher

"It's great that people in the demographic, are listening to the word of the Gap...They are now disciples of plaid"
-Pastor Justin

"you're beating with a book, everyone that the book tells you to love."
-unknown

"Maybe I should take my clothes off now?"
-Gabsy Anderson

"I want you to know that I am both happy and sad, and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."
-Charlie, Perks of being a wallflower

"I may not follow my religion, but I'm definitely a CHRISTIAN"
-unknown

"Life is like a play, it is not the length that is important, but the excellence of the acting"
-unknown

Radiohead rawr.

Happy Birthday to Me~

I am now 16, with no license not even a permit and no job. I am so accomplished : )
Spending the day with my best friend-shopping, eating, and looking at christmas lights in La Crosse. Now doesn't that sound like a rad way to spend your sixteenth birthday? I think so.

With one friend deciding to enlist in the military, and another lacking a will to even pass his classes I'm at a loss for what to say. Hopefully, everything will work out in the end. It has to, if it's not okay...it's not the end.

I have a new goal, it's to spend no more then 16 dollars an clothes...there is just so much good stuff out there if you're willing to dig! I mean, Jeggings for $4.00? ah-mazing. I am in desperate need of a camera. I haven't taken a new picture in months : (

Les Poling (curse him) got me addicted to gangsta music and radiohead. I don't like either. Stupid Gorgeous Boy.


Summer, Where are you? I lost you in all this white, icey stuff.
<--Mugby trips and Marching Band.
Beach Parties and gettin' Blazed.

Tank tops, Bandannas and Converse.
Hemp Necklaces and Hot Weather.

Man, I can really say.
Summer, I miss you<3

Let it snow, Let it snow, Let us sing.

I am in shock that it is already December! This year seems to be going by faster that I could have imagined. Already into second term with a speech, research, and a test to study for I have been so busy with academics alone. However I am finding time for what I actually enjoy.

Chamber choir season is in full swing as Christmas is fast approaching. The group of people I stand alongside at those events truly make my life happier. The choir room is definitely where you'll find me in WSHS when I'm not around. Tonight is the Messiah at WSU and I am eagerly waiting for that experience. Then Monday night comes our winter full choir concert at Pleasant Valley Church. My, my, practices there are chilly! Hopefully, everyone will hit their notes, our chords will sound right and no one will forget to clap during "There'll Be Joy" : )

I sometimes forget how much I truly love spending time with my mom. Last night, her and I adventured to La Crosse shopped for CD's and Christmas Ornaments and had a nice meal at Rocky Rococos. All in all, I've been having a blast the last few days.

Hopefully, I can find some time to relax today because I definitely need some!