Back To Reality

It's good to be back in the midst of good graces with the people I enjoy spending time with. In this moment of great feeling I've gone back to my style that truly makes me happy.

Black, Bright Colors, Plaid, Chains, Fishnets, Eyeliner=<3

A couple of nights ago, I attended a great camp out in which I had the chance to see a group of friends I hadn't seen in quite some time. Juan Cavasos throws great parties, simple but that's fine we still have a kickass time. Some highlights were Tall Chris and Danjerr tackling Juan out of trees,
Josh hardcore dancing, and watching warped tour videos.

Don't get me started on how beyond jealous I am of all of them that have been to Warped tour multiple times already.

Overall, it's been a good couple days.

A familar situation

A couple Februaries ago, a close find of mine at the time came out to me. It's quite a shock when one of you're best friends confides something like that in you, but all the same a wonderful feeling of being trusted. So the other night when a new friend had "something to tell me" I was almost expecting the same thing, but then I thought to myself I'm just being silly. Turns out I'm better at reading people than I thought. ; )

My last few days have been absolutely boring since I have been more or less grounded from the people I spend a majority of my time with. My boyfriend, Danjerr along with Julia and Jose take up most of my days and nights. Throw in Ryan and trips to the pool, late night park talks, and the endless search for a better high--I spend no time alone. So these past couple days have been quite a reality check for me, in which I have realized a few key things.

1. I am an only child and I am all my parents have.
2. Typical 15 year old girls can't say they've had their boyfriend sleep in over in their room ever, let alone often.
3. My parents really are quite awesome.
4. Danjerr is more important to me than I thought.

1-If I act carelessly, and something happens to me. I would personally be responsible for the suicide of my mother. and the depression into drinking the would inevitably happen to my father. That alone is enough to make me stop doing drugs, drinking excessively, and cutting myself.

2-I've been pretty lucky with having very understanding parents, so whenever my friends of broken homes need somewhere to stay mine is at the top of the list. This of course includes my long term love affair, Danjerr. On more than several occasions he's crashed on the couch, only to wander upstairs halfway through the night protesting that he "just couldn't sleep." I guess we pushed a limit or two the other night since he slept in my bed all night and we awoke to my father screaming. All in all it was a learning experience.

3-Spending time with my mom has always been easy, seeing as though I'm one of her best friends. However lately I've realized that my dad and I can have some pretty crazy times as well. Such as road trips to parades, bon fires, and looking up at the stars.

4-The trials of this relationship are soap opera worthy so I'm not going to go into them. However, in the past oh month or two it has dawned on me how important to me he is. I'm not letting him go this time, I'm talking Bella type loyalty. (desperation as well). Though he'll probably never read this, Danj I love you, always have just haven't always shown it. You've truly made me believe that together we can do anything and I'm looking forward to trying. <3


I think that gets us up to date, doesn't it?

Time flies when you're a deceitful bitch

My, my it's been almost two weeks since I've posted a thing!

I've been thinking about why and then it finally dawned on me.

If you're entire life becomes a lie it makes it harder to write about it for the world to see on the internet. When you keep secrets from everyone, including your own mother, best friend and boyfriend....something is probably....fucked up.

so excuse while I go try to salvage my life.

Cut Out Cookie Fun!

My family along with Julia made decorated cut out cookies for the boyfriends today.

my fathers, my mothers, mine, and Julia's.

It was an event.

Quite fun indeed.

then we went to a pirate themed party in white we played yahtzee for boose, and then we went for a coldstone trip.

I'm still recovering from that party ; )

sorry for the random short post.

Most in depth next time!