So tell me, do you wish we'd fall in love?

Hello again : )
and welcome to the wonderful world of a new semester!
No more math,
no more functions of x and y
and no more trig ratios--shall we all have a drink?

I love the excitement of new terms, I make an effort to look nice, sucking up to a new batch of teacher all that jazz. Something about starting the day off with spanish three, going to choir, having a Mann class with Dani, and then p.e with my friends just made the day seem positive. As much as I do dread physical education. : (

On another note, someone said something the other day that has just stayed with me.
well actually, a couple of things because they contradicted each other in a few ways and I am officially pathetic for analyzing conversations to this extreme.
oh well, I'm happily pathetic.

-when he say he couldn't see himself in a relationship with her long term, my immediate thoughts were well, can you see yourself with me? and is it because you're attracted to guys?

okay, if you knew my circumstances-the second would not be a suprise however I'm hoping that's not the case.

so does that mean he doesnt want a relationship at all? or maybe he wants one too much?
these are the things that keep me awake, trivial-random nonsense. : )

also, say whatever helps you sleep at night, that none of this will matter and detach yourself from everything. then you're not living, you're putting life on hold...till after highschool, after college, after you travel...you'll run out of time. and that's scary.
so face it, hold my hand and realize that i want this... us to matter to you. and it terrifies me that you might write it off as just highschool, just a girl...just...just...nothing.

but I think this is different-because when I'm babbling you think I make perfect sense.
and to me, that matters.


wow, a Rihanna song just came on my shuffle, that's weird.

so recently, I've been conflicted because I don't seem to know how to say no. I would really like to learn this skill as i feel it would come in handy every so often.

Hanging out with someone I've never met-one on one-that my best friend got bad vibes from..
should say no...I think I'll just make up an excuse, wow I'm usually so opinionated but I need to grow some balls here.

also-when an ex wants back in your life, that you really don't want involved in any aspect of your choices, daily life, or anythign else. Then you should say no. and make them believe it. and don't give it. I really need to work on this one, do you think there's a class for this?

But don't let that confuse you, I know what I want to a certain extent. an comfortable amount of acceptance of change and knowing what I refuse to lose. Not again.

This is making me angry, and that's not how a decent day should end.

I am thankful for getting a great second semester schedule.
for reconnecting with an old, good friend.
for my parents being understanding and forgiving.
and for the person who's been texting me all night, continually making me smile.

G'night.